1st Day

1st morning in California
feels the same as it is in Columbia
only waking up in a strange room
and wondering if I can adapt to it soon

1st afternoon in California
the traffic is much worse than Columbia
I wanna open my window and yell
"What's the matter, what the hell ?!?"

1st evening in California
Surprisingly is not as warm as Columbia
It's cool but not chill
maybe it's because I live on top of the hill

1st night in California
is not better than other nights in Columbia
I miss my friends from Chi Alpha
but not as bad as I miss Ruth, Amel, & Arya

dasar Ika pujangga gagal, haha...semua cerita aja dibikin puisi yah, hehe....

I WISH

I wish we were never apart
I wish there were no broken heart
I wish I could be by your side
I wish you would always be my guide

I wish there were never any doubt
I wish our path would never find a drought
I wish you were the only one I think about

I wish I could sit by you
I wish our days would never be blue
I wish you would dream about me
I wish we ended up happy

I am survivor

Sunny
Boring day
My new roomie is here
so trouble comes as it may

Sunny
Boring day
Katie's attitude is killing me
but I have nothing to say

Sunny
Boring day
I should be happy
'coz it's Ruth's 21 b'day

Sunny
Boring day
wondering why Katie is so annoying
and wishing when she will walk away

First Love ?!?!?

The goodlooking 15-year-old Dustin Layton is in love.
His crush is Jessica Day, another participant of the Hickory Hill Diabetes Camp.
There are some other (very) young couples in this camp.
I wonder if they started dating after they spent a few days in the camp or earlier before they even went camping together.

Back in the day when I was 15, I dated a junior high basketball player.
He was not as tall as the typical basketball players, but he does really good in every competition.
His best skill is scoring "3 point".

ha... I have never known what first love is.
I think my very first love was Jesus Christ, when I was 16.
I am in another relationship now. Not with the same guy I dated 7 years ago.
Yet I still am not sure who my first love was (except God, of course).
Ouch !!!

Weird Mood

Like there are so many things to say
but no words are able to come out

Like there is something wrong
yet every move looks just fine

Like my tears are ready to fall down
although nobody says goodbye

Feels like living in an empty world
with no one around
Feels like standing in the intersession
without knowing which way to take

Weird mood...anyone, anyone ???

GOSH !

I left early from the camp today. I was rushing home to check my mailbox b'coz my manager said the HR department sent the offer letter on Wednesday of last week.
Hiks...the offer letter was not in the mailbox yet.

But gosh... what the heck happened to my living room while I was gone !??!
Looks like a party. No, no, not a party. More like a MESS.
How annoying !!!
The more annoying thing is, Lizzie is not here to stand by me or listen to me.
What did my new roomie do while I was gone ?!?!?

Plus, she 'borrowed' my mirror without permission.
GOSH !
Lizzie & I trade stuffs, but at least we put it back where it belongs.
This new roomie is really annoying. I dunno what's gonna happen next week when I leave to California & Lizzie is still in Greece until July.

GOSH !

Boys are crazeeee

Jeez, I wonder why God created boys at the first place.
I think this is not the first time I questioned this such thing.
Boys are crazeeee .... crazy enough to be understood, crazy enough to share your thoughts with, and above everything, crazy enough to share your life with.

Boys are crazeee....
Complicated, mysterious, pretending to be cool, moody. They can be sweet one minute & turn evil the next second.

Gosh, boys !!!
Crazeeee creature !!!

Dying

DYING

In this cruel world
where there is nowhere to hide
YOU were there
standing in the crowd

In this wild world
where there is nowhere to run
YOU were there
with an open arm

In my messy crappy world
where everything is impossible to be fixed
YOU were there
Lifted me up from my burden

In this world full of insanity
I said I had enough
YOU hold me tight
and promise me for a place on high

In this world full of doubt
I stand in the interstate
either to let go or to hold on

In this world full of hatred
I just ask for one
Lord God please take me eternally home
and leave this world behind

-Farika, Apr 10th 2005-

everybody's leaving

I wonder how soon Mizzou graduates leave town after their commencement.
Hey, Ruth, I think you should make a story on this.
The reason is, the city was dead right after the G-day.
Some folks came back to town for theit part time job or just to hangout with friends/sig other, but most people left town right away, I think.

My best friend Brittney called me 2 days ago.
She came to town after spending 2 weeks of camp in Colorado.
Yep, Colorado is where she will be this whole summer.
Sure she loves it. Britt is the only girl who enjoy outdoorsy stuffs more than any girls I have ever known.

Anyway, I could not see her 'coz I just arrived in LA. What a bad timing, Britt :(

Plus, my roomie & ex-classmate Lizzie went to Greece without giving me a hug.
She left the house on Monday when I was in the camp.
I called her the next day to say goodbye. Jeez, Liz.... we never know when we can see each other again.
I am leaving Columbia, Missouri at the end of June , while Liz returns from Greece on July 5th.
Then we never know where she will end up working as she has not applied for any dietitian position out there. Same as Britt.

Pfh... time flies.
Another galfriend Katie left town right after G-day to travel to Houston, TX & Baton Rouge, LA for her "Teach for America" job.
Erika is still occupied with her summer job in Columbia, but will relocate to Davis, CA sometime in July.
Whoa....whoa... looks like no Mizzou graduates stay in town more than 3 months.
Everyone is leaving at least at the end of summer.

I wonder how many freshmen we have this year.
I wonder if Columbia population is greater this year than last year.
Heh, what a collegetown ! When the students are away, the city is dead.

That's why I love Avril Lavigne's hit "Happy Ending"
The line "Don't leave me hanging in the city so dead..." reminds me of Columbia, Missouri.
Haha.... gosh, I love Columbia too much. I should run for Mayor next time ;p

Something about diabetes

I am not a diabetic.
Yet I have a thing for people with diabetes.
It is not pity; it is more like an amazement.

I am amazed on how these people (even little ones) are not afraid of needles, how dedicated they take medication, how strict they follow the diet, and how they are not ashamed of being diabetic.

The diabetes camp is like a getaway for me.
1st, it is really green. It is in the middle of nowhere. Just trees, cabins, tents, forest, lake, cave ... what can be better than that ?!?!
2nd, really nice people. The staff & participants are great !
3rd, working with children & teens.
4th, play and play and play !
5th, real world experience: Watching them on their lows, watching them get active like "normal" people, making & adjusting their meal plan.
6th, how they make fun on the non-diabetics ( including myself ! )

My first day in the diabetes camp, I made friends with two young girls.
They are sisters. The older one has diabetes. She is a gymnast.
A very friendly & funny girl. Her name is Jasmine.
The last time I saw her was yesterday before I left camp. Jasmine has a national competition in Virginia & left MO this morning.
She hugged me & made me promise to call or email her.
What a cute girl !

I missed Jasmine already.

The official camp just started today as the last 3 days was a staff training.
I never know what happens tomorrow, but I promise it will be FUN.

Summer Chi Alpha

The 1st Chi Alpha summer edition rocks !
The boys & girls who joined Winston in a mission trip to Haiti shared their 2-week experience.
"Weird" foods, unpleasant road, hot weather, cute kids, & definitely a heart for serving others.

Anne closed their testimonies by sharing hers & her oncoming trip to Jordan within 2 months.
Yes, Jordan, the Moslem country (96% are Moslems).
She is gonna teach science to high school kids in the Christian missionary.

As she shared her passion, I was wondering if she knows what her life is going to be in the next 11 month she is there.
I have lived in a Moslem country for 18 years.
People can kill you just because you are a Christian.

An educated girl like Anne, graduated cum laude from nutrition & fittness major ... she can make tons of money if sha wants to.
But she choose mission over money.
She has a vision. A HUGE one.

I was ashamed of myself. During my 18 years in a Moslem country, what have I done besides complaining being a minority ?!

I hugged her after service, I told her I was so proud of her.
She was praying for me relocating to California, too.
California is not Jordan. Yet Anne opened my eyes that I could do something better than just being a dietitian.

Winston was excited that I am moving to LA & said he would need my help for the ministry.
40% of UCLA students are Asian Americans.
Surely I am not an Asian American (if he thinks I am), but I can share my faith, too.

The 1st summer Chi Alpha rocks.
It feels like we are sent to different mission fields.
Plus, Curtis is going to Califonia, too !
Anne ... what a brave girl !
The other Anne is another extraordinary friend, she is going to South Asia to preach the Gospel.
Not to mention others: Mark, Jordan, Keith, Joseph, Angela, Shawn, Brittany ... and the list is still going ;)

My Weekend Date ;p

What a weekend !
It turned out this weekend was not bad, although it was pretty boring to start with.
1st of all, I canceled the "date" with the Peruvian guy.

Instead I spent the WHOLE weekend with Ruth, Amel, Arya.
Haha... niceee ;p

The movie "Napoleon Dynamite" was nothing special.
I don't understand why Britt & Mary are so crazy about it.
The next nite was watching "30 Hari Mencari Cinta"
I have seen the movies often enough, that I remember almost all the dialogues, haha... that's the best movie after "Bend It Like Beckham" I think.
At least it's entertaining & funny.
It turned my sleepiness & bad mood into laughter.

Today was exercise day.
I worked out with Amel (FYI: I haven't lost any weight. Instead I went to 2 buffet restaurants within 3 days. haha... good job, Ika !) & walked in the Katy Trail with the whole group.
Columbia is still dead although summer school starts tomorrow.

So that's my weekend story. Doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but it actually does.
At least I know more about Arya & Amel (I know Ruth well enough, I guess, haha...)
The weekend is officially over in 50 minutes. Pfh... dunno what to say.

I am gonna spend next weekend with the diabetes camp crew.
I am looking forward to it, although it simply means my summer playtime is over 'coz I gotta take care of the diabetic teens.
Hopefully they will listen to me.
I know how teens react. Hey, I have been there, too !

Oh well, hopefully Gwen & Cindy have a great time in Jakarta.
We miss them !

get ready, California !

I am gonna be a California girl soon.
Haha.... Farika The California Girl does not sound as good as Farika The Missouri Girl.
The idea of me living in a big city is really distorted, haha...

I love Columbia, Missouri.
There is nothing much to tell about this "tiny" collegetown, but I fell in love at the first sight.

I love having lunch at the Memorial Union, enjoying fresh gossips in the International Center, studying in Brady Food Court while wiping out my work station, checking out hot boys in the nutrition class, getting textbooks for free from the library, jogging with Brittney downtown, running at the rec center, watching the free comedy show, enjoying the view of the winery, and best of all walking downtown while slurping bubletea or craving Coldstone ice cream.

Ugh, Los Angeles. Hollywood. Santa Monica. What's in there, anyway ???
Will they have fresh air ? Green park ?
Cheap apartment ? Godly friendly people ?
Affordable dining ? Vintage ?
Free comedy show ? Coldstone ice cream ?

Aaah, you better watch out, Californians.
'Coz I am coming soon & I am bringing my oddness with me.
I am ain't spectacular, yet can rock town ;p
Farika & her Chi Alpha folks will rock UCLA for sure ;)
Oh yeah, get ready, California !!!

About sumtin called love

People say love is blind
I say love is unpredictable
When you think you have moved on with your life
you figure out somehow that you still have a leftover feeling for your ex

People say love is beautiful
I say love is confusing
When you think you will settle with one person
you find that you like another guy too

People say to love does not mean to have
I say there is only a fine line between love & obsession
When you think you are in love
later you think you only want this person because everybody around you has a date

I think love is un-understandable (is that a word or what ?!)
unspeakable
untouchable
unreadable
...
with human's mind

Our brain ( or maybe just mine) is not equipped enough to understand love.
I know it is there, I just do not know how to get there.
I know it exists, I just have to find where it is located.
Complicated enough, huh ?!?!?

Something about waiting

Waiting has never been fun. Not at this time, either.
I am waiting for an official job offer, something on paper that I can really sign my name on.
I am waiting on another paperwork stating that I am legal to work in the United States for one year.
I am waiting for my boyfriend to graduate & visit me.
I am waiting. It's not fun.

Worrying has never been fun, either.
The Bible tells us not to worry because it won't help anyway.
It won't make you live longer.
But of course, it is me. I am worried. In fact, I worry too much, even when the situation is 50% in control.

Waiting & worrying come together handy.
They are NOT fun.
Ouch, I gotta find something FUN to do, like applying for another job, maybe (!?!?)

New Chapter In Life

Every new chapter in life seems scarry.
I remembered the 1st day in kindergarten, 1st day in elementary school, 1st time sitting next to a stranger, 1st ride with a public transportation, 1st love, 1st boyfriend, 1st day I stepped my feet in the United States ...

That 1st day stepping my feet in the United States was almost 4 years ago.
I recently graduated from college & will enter the next chapter in life: REAL JOB.
Real job, real life, real people, real client, real patient, real hospital, real paycheck (ummm...). Gosh, sounds scarry !

It will not be scarry enough if my status is not a foreigner.
But I am. And I cannot change that. At least for now.
Supposably (borrowing Adrian's word) I am legal to work & can stay in the United States for another 7 years or forever if my green card is approved.

Nevertheless, a new chapter is always scarry.
Hopefully it will turn out as a happy ending, though ;)